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We revisit the erotic drama in anticipation of the trilogy's final chapter. The two of them have chemistry, and go on a few dates, but Grey is kinky, with an interest in BDSM, and Ana is a virgin who veers a little prudish. He buys her a laptop and a car and shows up at random locations in her life to woo her. She experiments with his dominant proclivities, but is ultimately a little uncomfortable with it when he spanks her and she realizes how much he enjoys it.

She leaves his apartment. Two attractive, white twentysomethings who toy with the idea of dating but ultimately suffer from misaligned sexual preferences. Or reschedule the interview? Or do it on the phone? Or do it via email which they end up doing anyway because Ana does such a terrible job? And Anastasia does. But… why? Anastasia has a car. She has a blue car. But it is! I cannot figure out why Ana would not drive her own car. Hear me out.

I lived with a roommate in New York for two years. She and I are good friends, and we have been friends since college. I have never once kissed her on the head. And now I ask you: why do you think Ana is still a virgin at 22? And yet every single person we see in his employ is a stick-thin, gorgeous woman in porn-high heels. How is that not a red flag? Does he ask for photographs with resumes? This is the headquarters of a major business enterprise, and Anastasia is impersonating someone in order to get inside.

We already established how weird it is that she sent her roommate and not another newspaper reporter, but now I have to wonder how lax security is at Grey HQ. I know that Anastasia is not a professional reporter and this is her first interview, but what the screenwriters presumably believed was flirty banter is actually just extremely rude and made me very uncomfortable.

He is a year old billionaire giving you a few minutes of his time to conduct an in-person interview for a student newspaper. This allows Christian to spend more time with Ana by agreeing to do an impromptu photoshoot, but also: what the hell? How are there no photos available of a famous billionaire? What does this school paper normally use? There are numerous archives and photo services like Getty for this very purpose.

At their first interview, Christian is extremely flirty, and he asks Anastasia out to coffee. Ending the date that very moment is the most drama queen behavior I have ever seen.

Okay, a little harsh, but fine. And then he sends her a very expensive gift: first editions of her favorite book. This is a romantic gift!

And then Ana drunk-dials him, which college kids do sometimes, and instead of politely hanging up and allowing her to move on with her life, he shows up at the college bar and brings her back to his hotel room where he is very sexual and very flirty. He is literally The Bachelor, a show that is all about pretending to be romantic. Does he know what that word means?

So Ana goes out to a bar with her friends, gets very drunk, and drunkenly calls Christian who picks her up and brings her back to his hotel to sleep it off he also changed her into pajamas which feels excessively wrong.

And Christian also sends his driver to get more clothes for her since she vomited on her outfit from last night. A few questions here: first, the undressing—yeesh, right?

But also, did the driver go pick up clothes Ana already owns from her house? How would he know where Anastasia lives? Did her roommate let in a strange man she had never seen before who said he wanted to take some clothes? What the hell. And how is breaking into her home to steal some clothes any easier than washing the clothes that had vomit on them?

If his driver bought new clothes for her, how the hell would he have known what size she is? Did she not shower? She had a disgusting, vomit-y drunken night! Or did she shower and get back in the clothes a random stranger pulled for her? Why would she do that? How is she comfortable enough to do this? A car is a major purchase and piece of property. Did Christian steal the keys? Cars have titles, and registration, and ownership. No reputable dealer will accept a clearly stolen car from a middle-aged man claiming to be a year-old named Anastasia Steele.

Did Christian clean out her personal belongings? Gym clothes? But she should have been freaking out because stealing her car is literally insane.

It treats BDSM as an alien anomaly, a strange character defect and not a very common sexual fetish. Why else do they treat getting turned on by domination and submission as an outrageously deviant burden? Fifty Shades of Grey also has this weird perspective where they see the submissive side of BDSM as total martyrdom, letting yourself be hurt to bring the other person pleasure.

But… people are turned on by submission too. A lot of people. BDSM is about finding people who are turned on by power and domination and pairing them with people who are turned on by obedience and pain. Anastasia literally asks Christian to spank her because she wants to feel what turns him on, the thing that drives him.

He tells her he is going to spank her with a flogger six times. He spanks her with a flogger six times. This is what turns you on??? Hurting me??? Seeing me like this!?!?!? You asked him to do that. He did. So, yes. You should leave. Obviously you and Christian have completely incompatible sexual preferences in this bizarro vanilla universe. The second is at the bar, where she drunk-dialed him. Ethics of his stalking aside, I see a more sinister underlying subtext: digital surveillance.

I humbly contend that Fifty Shades of Grey is the best Black Mirror episode to date, where the exploration of the insidiousness of technology is lurking, almost invisibly, in the background, behind all of the talk about butt plugs.

Save FB Tweet ellipsis More. Image zoom. TV Show. This is a question I asked out loud as the opening credits came across the screen. He did! Episode Recaps Previous. S7 E3 Recap. S7 E2 Recap. The recap: The anomaly is revealed … kind of. S7 E1 Recap. The season premiere recap: 'From the Ashes' … can they rise?

Agents of S. S5 E5 Recap. Billions recap: Taylor's new venture begins — under a cloud of betrayal and mistrust. S5 E4 Recap. Billions recap: Axe goes back to where it all started, and gets a big surprise. S5 E14 Recap. Legends of Tomorrow recap: Marc Guggenheim directs a gloriously meta yet sad hour. S4 E6 Recap.


Fifty Shades Of Grey Quotes

For reasons that are now obscure to me—and were by definition ill-conceived—I read Fifty Shades of Grey at that terrible moment in American history when it seemed that everyone else was reading it too. Suffice to say that I made either the wise decision to skip them or the only marginally less-wise decision to repress all memory of them. This week, the name of that sacrifice is Fifty Shades Freed. James , Fifty Shades Freed is precisely as atrocious as one might imagine. Which is to say, it is far worse than the first movie —which, though awful, in hindsight looks like Citizen Kane , only with more discussion of dildos.


Fifty Shades of Grey

Here's a refresher course on how messed up '50 Shades Of Grey' really is. The 50 Shades Of Grey movie hype is growing as the movie's release date February 13 gets closer, which means a barrage of media attention is once more on the mommy porn flick. And that means I get to hear endless apologies and explanations for how what may be the most sexist, poorly written piece of literature since Tucker Max thought he was relevant. Listen, if 50 Shades Of Grey turns you on, that is your business. You do you. I'm not here to judge anyone for their bedroom behaviors, be it vanilla sex or BDSM.


Christian Grey

The film is based on E. The film was the most awarded at the 36th Golden Raspberry Awards , winning five of six nominations, including Worst Picture tied with Fantastic Four and both leading roles. It is the first installment in the Fifty Shades film trilogy and was followed by two sequels, Fifty Shades Darker and Fifty Shades Freed , released in and , respectively. When her roommate, Kate Kavanagh, becomes ill and is unable to interview Christian Grey, a year-old billionaire entrepreneur, for the college newspaper, Ana agrees to go in her place. Christian, who is that year's WSU commencement speaker, takes an interest in her; soon after, he visits the hardware store where Ana works, and offers to do a photo shoot to accompany the article for which Ana had interviewed him. Christian invites Ana for coffee, but leaves abruptly after Ana confesses to being a romantic, saying he is not the man for her.

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