See the full list. A young linen draper's clerk "blues" himself and has a rare good time, posing as a society man named Horatio Sparkins, while his real name is Samuel Smith. He spends all his money on fine clothes and his evenings in going to assemblies and balls, where he pretends to be a poet and a man of considerable means. They go to a Mr. Flamwell, a young man who claims to have acquaintances in the best society, and ask about Mr.
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He positively must be asked down here to dine. Young—dear me! Malderton, addressing her youngest daughter, who was engaged in netting a purse, and looking sentimental. Miss Teresa Malderton was a very little girl, rather fat, with vermilion cheeks, but good-humoured, and still disengaged, although, to do her justice, the misfortune arose from no lack of perseverance on her part.
In vain had she flirted for ten years; in vain had Mr. Malderton to her husband. Malderton coughed, and looked at the fire. I hope he knows we live at Oak Lodge, Camberwell, my dear? A few successful speculations had raised him from a situation of obscurity and comparative poverty, to a state of affluence. As frequently happens in such cases, the ideas of himself and his family became elevated to an extraordinary pitch as their means increased; they affected fashion, taste, and many other fooleries, in imitation of their betters, and had a very decided and becoming horror of anything which could, by possibility, be considered low.
He was hospitable from ostentation, illiberal from ignorance, and prejudiced from conceit. Egotism and the love of display induced him to keep an excellent table: convenience, and a love of good things of this life, ensured him plenty of guests. The family were ambitious of forming acquaintances and connexions in some sphere of society superior to that in which they themselves moved; and one of the necessary consequences of this desire, added to their utter ignorance of the world beyond their own small circle, was, that any one who could lay claim to an acquaintance with people of rank and title, had a sure passport to the table at Oak Lodge, Camberwell.
The appearance of Mr. Horatio Sparkins at the assembly, had excited no small degree of surprise and curiosity among its regular frequenters. Who could he be? He was evidently reserved, and apparently melancholy. Was he a clergyman? A barrister? He used very fine words, and talked a great deal. Could he be a distinguished foreigner, come to England for the purpose of describing the country, its manners and customs; and frequenting public balls and public dinners, with the view of becoming acquainted with high life, polished etiquette, and English refinement?
Was he a surgeon, a contributor to the magazines, a writer of fashionable novels, or an artist? The Miss Maldertons were dressed in sky-blue satin trimmed with artificial flowers; and Mrs. Thomas Malderton, the youngest, with his white dress-stock, blue coat, bright buttons, and red watch-ribbon, strongly resembled the portrait of that interesting, but rash young gentleman, George Barnwell.
Every member of the party had made up his or her mind to cultivate the acquaintance of Mr. Horatio Sparkins. Miss Teresa, of course, was to be as amiable and interesting as ladies of eight-and-twenty on the look-out for a husband, usually are. Malderton would be all smiles and graces. Miss Marianne would request the favour of some verses for her album.
Malderton would patronise the great unknown by asking him to dinner. Tom intended to ascertain the extent of his information on the interesting topics of snuff and cigars. Even Mr. Frederick Malderton himself, the family authority on all points of taste, dress, and fashionable arrangement; who had lodgings of his own in town; who had a free admission to Covent-garden theatre; who always dressed according to the fashions of the months; who went up the water twice a-week in the season; and who actually had an intimate friend who once knew a gentleman who formerly lived in the Albany,—even he had determined that Mr.
Horatio Sparkins must be a devilish good fellow, and that he would do him the honour of challenging him to a game at billiards. The first object that met the anxious eyes of the expectant family on their entrance into the ball-room, was the interesting Horatio, with his hair brushed off his forehead, and his eyes fixed on the ceiling, reclining in a contemplative attitude on one of the seats.
The elegant Sparkins attitudinised with admirable effect, until the family had crossed the room. He then started up, with the most natural appearance of surprise and delight; accosted Mrs. Malderton with the utmost cordiality; saluted the young ladies in the most enchanting manner; bowed to, and shook hands with Mr. Malderton, with a degree of respect amounting almost to veneration; and returned the greetings of the two young men in a half-gratified, half-patronising manner, which fully convinced them that he must be an important, and, at the same time, condescending personage.
Malderton, as the obsequious Sparkins and his partner joined the quadrille which was just forming. Indeed, indeed, you know him not! Malderton, at the conclusion of the evening, as he and his sons were standing in conversation with Mr.
They have no great charms for an elderly man. What more do we know? Frederick—than whom no one was more capable of answering for himself in that particular. Sparkins is a wonderful young man. Such surprising knowledge! That night, Mr. Miss Teresa went to bed, considering whether, in the event of her marrying a title, she could conscientiously encourage the visits of her present associates; and dreamed, all night, of disguised noblemen, large routs, ostrich plumes, bridal favours, and Horatio Sparkins.
Various surmises were hazarded on the Sunday morning, as to the mode of conveyance which the anxiously-expected Horatio would adopt. Did he keep a gig? These, and other various conjectures of equal importance, engrossed the attention of Mrs. Malderton and her daughters during the whole morning after church.
Malderton to his wife. Malderton, as a little spoffish man, with green spectacles, entered the room. Flamwell was one of those gentlemen of remarkably extensive information whom one occasionally meets in society, who pretend to know everybody, but in reality know nobody. He had rather a singular way of telling his greatest lies in a parenthesis, and with an air of self-denial, as if he feared being thought egotistical.
Is he tall? What a name to be elegantly engraved upon two glazed cards, tied together with a piece of white satin ribbon! Everybody endeavoured to look—as people when they particularly expect a visitor always do—as if they were perfectly unsuspicious of the approach of anybody. None that I am much aware of. Flamwell, sir—glad to see you. After a great deal of reining in, and pulling up, with the accompaniments of snorting, rearing, and kicking, the animal consented to stop at about a hundred yards from the gate, where Mr.
Sparkins dismounted, and confided him to the care of Mr. The ceremony of introduction was gone through, in all due form. Flamwell looked from behind his green spectacles at Horatio with an air of mysterious importance; and the gallant Horatio looked unutterable things at Teresa.
Malderton to Flamwell, as he was escorting her to the dining-room. It might be one of the ministers making himself acquainted with the views of the people. John, put a chair for the gentleman between Miss Teresa and Miss Marianne.
Sparkins, had been forced into a white neckerchief and shoes, and touched up, and brushed, to look like a second footman. The dinner was excellent; Horatio was most attentive to Miss Teresa, and every one felt in high spirits, except Mr.
Malderton, who, knowing the propensity of his brother-in-law, Mr. Malderton, casting a sidelong look at Horatio, to see what effect the mention of so great a man had upon him. I hope his lordship is very well? It is scarcely necessary to say that, until that moment, he had been quite innocent of the existence of such a person.
I met him in the City, and had a long chat with him. Barton, from the centre of the table. Ha, ha! Your argument struck me very forcibly. The young ladies simpered. Is effect the consequence of cause? Is cause the precursor of effect? Malderton to her daughters, as they retired to the drawing-room. He must have seen a great deal of life. The gentlemen being left to themselves, a pause ensued, during which everybody looked very grave, as if they were quite overcome by the profound nature of the previous discussion.
Flamwell, who had made up his mind to find out who and what Mr. Horatio Sparkins really was, first broke silence. The question was thus pretty well settled in the mind of Mr. I think with you. The cough returned with tenfold violence, and did not cease until the unfortunate cause of it, in his alarm, had quite forgotten what he intended to say. Delafontaine, of Bedford-square? Malderton, confidentially, as they followed Horatio up to the drawing-room.
The remainder of the evening passed away most delightfully. Malderton, relieved from his apprehensions by the circumstance of Mr. Sparkins declared, in a most masterly manner, and both of them, assisted by Mr.
Frederick, tried over glees and trios without number; they having made the pleasing discovery that their voices harmonised beautifully. Sparkins ordered the mourning-coach-looking steed to be brought out—an order which was only complied with, on the distinct understanding that he was to repeat his visit on the following Sunday.
Sparkins will form one of our party to-morrow evening? Malderton intends taking the girls to see the pantomime.
Sketches by Boz/Horatio Sparkins
A young linen draper's clerk "blues" himself and has a rare good time, posing as a society man named Horatio Sparkins, while his real name is Samuel Smith. He spends all his money on fine clothes and his evenings in going to assemblies and balls, where he pretends to be a poet and a man of considerable means. They go to a Mr. Flamwell, a young man who claims to have acquaintances in the best society, and ask about Mr.
He positively must be asked down here to dine. Young—dear me! Malderton, addressing her youngest daughter, who was engaged in netting a purse, and looking sentimental. Miss Teresa Malderton was a very little girl, rather fat, with vermilion cheeks, but good-humoured, and still disengaged, although, to do her justice, the misfortune arose from no lack of perseverance on her part. In vain had she flirted for ten years; in vain had Mr. Malderton to her husband. Malderton coughed, and looked at the fire.
Scanned image and text by Philip V. At twelve o'clock on the following morning, the "fly" was at the door of Oak Lodge, to convey Mrs. Malderton and her daughters on their expedition for the day. They were to dine and dress for the play at a friend's house. First, driving thither with their band-boxes, they departed on their first errand to make some purchases at Messrs.